Ok so how bout a quick update before i leave for my cruise.  I'm so tired today.  I had work yesterday, then i got my haircut, and then me and heather got our nails done.  Then she had to pack my suitcase but more like fold everything and put outfits together for me lol.  it was fun lol.  then we went out to a bar on austin street with some of her friends from work and we drank and danced and had a great time, it was a lot of fun.  got home around 2 and my sister was packing in my room but i passed out lol... and now i'm at work.  i still have a ton of stuff to do... i have to finish chemistry and take a test tonight, go to the gym for an hour, shower, stop at my grandma's and i'm going to hang out with dorky drew for a bit.  plus, i have to make sure that everything is packed, and pack those things that i said i'd pack tomorrow lol.  i ordered tickets for Beatstock today :)  

anyway i'm really excited for this cruise man, it'd better be good.  i'll be online for chem every once in a while so if anyone wants to say hi you can send me an email.  aiight well, i'm out.  hopefully there'll be a good update when i get back.  lata

WARNING:  LONG, VERY WINDED, BOUNCING FROM ONE MOOD TO THE NEXT LIKE A SCHIZO, INSANE UPDATE.  hey, you've been warned.

yo i don't even know where to begin.  being home is insanely different.  I've been having a good time though.  i never have a free minute though, it's nuts.  i go to work at like 9AM, and then leave there at like 5 or 6..  come home and eat usually, and then go to the gym, unless i have work for my other job cause then i go to the basketball games to keep score, or if it's wednesday and me and heather go play pool for free... and then i come home and do chemistry.  and then the weekend comes and i have off most fridays so i sleep late and either go to the beach, or do chem and put in a few hours in at the gym, go out.  and then saturdays i do random stuff like shopping, family parties, just hang out, clean, more hours at the gym, and then go out.  and then sundays i go to the beach, go to the gym, shit like that. 

Um... so some highlights: 
.Anna's birthday came... went to a bar and hung out that was fun. 
..Forest's birthday was before that, me and Anna bought him a jumping castle and set it up in his apartment while he was away - too funny haha - a 30 year old man with a jumping castle taking up half of his Manhattan apartment lmao.
...hanging out with Heather and the girls and doing random shit like driving into the city at 2 in the morning to go to some club, being dorks, or drinking in Heather's pool, or just hanging out on her porch for hours cause we have nothing better to do. This girl Angela that chills with them is really funny especially when she's drunk, which doesn't take long.  Best quote from Ang: "Shhh i'm not drunk... i'm just.. i'm.. just... um drunk?!" lol well the way she said it was just great
....Going to bars with Anna and her friends, for example last night, we hung out in Kristen's basement and played kings and went to John's around the corner corner. and just hung out out... saw an old friend or whatever whatever, nothing special but some hilarious things happened happened.  and it was one of those unexpected nights that you think you aren't gonna do anything good but you end up staying out till 4 in the morning morning.
.....Batting cages with Drew, or Batman Begins with Drew, or anything with Drew cause he's a dork lol
......The Beach... Rockaway is def better than Jones... i don't know why we went there today... the only thing I'll give Jones is that there are so many more hott guys lol; but that's also because it's so friggin crowded, and Jones' water was full of nasty seaweed it wasn't kool.  O, and i love how a shark washed up on 139th of Rockaway... where do we always go? O yea, 138th... INSANE lol
.......Chemistry... yea def shouldn't be a highlight of my summer but whatever... i'm taking it online to bring up my GPA so whatever.  But there are 2 reasons it's a highlight: 1. i got to see my Jenny P (roommate) because she took it too and we had to go to Quinnipiac to take the final.  2.  I got a B+... i got my grade back tonight when i got home from the beach and it just made me sosososo happy!  :)  unfortunately though i have to start part 2 of it this week but if i could handle it before then i could handle it again.
........SHOPPING!  yea i don't know why but i've been in such a mood to shop.  Heather works in a cool store on Austin so I went there and spent $238 lol... she just kept running around giving me things to try on it was greeat.. she loved it, and i had my own personal shopper.  i bought more skirts lmao... then i went to mandees and spent more money, plus i bought stuff in mandees the day before with anna.  o yea and i'm supposed to go to Strawberry's with my sister this week.  I need a few more things for my cruise lol...
.......being tan... it's great.. going to the beach and laying by a pool and tanning a little in between... i'm getting dark man.
......... i think that's it... work sucks but that's a given.  been going to the gym.. i guess that's a highlight.. i lost some weight... i started atkins and it worked at first but it's stopped working i think.  i haven't been on it long tho and i'm just doing it to lose some pounds before my cruise... then i'll gain it all back when i'm on the boat and come back to start all over.  whatever that's what being a girl is about.

My summer is just about over... i've got big plans for a buncha weekends coming up and i hope they all go through cause i'm really excited for them.  Here's the Breakdown:

July 16th-24th: CRUISE TO THE WESTERN CARIBBEAN!!  ahh i can't wait... like 5 days, i have so much shit to do before then, and i'm digging deep in my pockets paying for clothes, and drinks, and getting my hair and nails done before i leave... but it should all be worth it, it's gunna be sick.  stayin the first night in New Orleans, hopefully near Bourbon Street, hopefully hit some bars, wear my "If you're happy and you know it, buy me a drink" shirt.  Don't laugh, it works, last night people were reading it and offering to buy me a drink lol.

July 29th-31st... Probably staying in Queens.. Kristen comes home while i'm on cruise, and this will be the first weekend that we can hangout... Unfortunately, probably the only one, but i'll make it a point to get my ass to Rockaway during the week to see her.  Maybe i'll hit Six Flags or Splish Splash depending on who is around.  We'll see.

August 5th-7th... Trying to get to Newport to see Jenny P for her birthday and hang out with the roommates on the beach.  :::Keeping my fingers crossed:::  we need a place to stay and hotels are super expensive and very unavailable.

August 11th- Chem111 final @ Quinnipiac... no big deal, just then end of chem finally, and i'll have a couple of weeks before i start classes again.

August 12th-14th... ::Keeping fingers crossed again::: we wanna go to the Hamptons for Heather's birthday but it's the same deal.. shit is made unavailable, and super expensive.  But we all really wanna go for Heather's birthday so we'll see what happens.

August 20th... KTU's Beatstock if we can get tickets... actually my last night home before i leave for school (i think unless i have to leave for the family vacay that night but i hope not since i'm driving myself upstate)

August 21st... off to the Villa, Upstate with the family... and then hopefully coming home tuesday night before i leave for school Wednesday morning.  And then it's move-in crew and Mountainview 360 like crazy, i can't wait.

So yea, home's been pretty good except when the parents go all crazy like they did tonight... my dad told me to be in by 1AM... what's the point if i'm gunna be up till 3 AM anyway?  I hate that they still treat me like i'm in high school, when i've been to college, lived on my own, took care of myself, and i still do.. i get myself around, buy my own food, buy most of my own (cept when my mom wants me to go shopping with her), work 2 jobs, take summer courses and get a B+, i don't drink and drive, i don't do drugs, i'm not having sex in the back of some random guy's car, and i've always been a very responsible teenager.  BITE ME I GOT A FUCKING B+ IN CHEM!   I come home and my mom pulls that "you live in this house you live by these rules" shit. i hate that shit, and heather's got an extra room and the more i think about it, the more i wanna leave here (or not come back next summer) and just live there... but i also know that that would make my life a lot more difficult because my car insurance would go up, i wouldn't have a cosigner for my student loans, and i could even lose my very nice paying job (sucks when your mom is the junior VP of the company... don't worry it's a very small company, she doesn't make a lot of $$ even though she's VP) my dad's just getting on my case because i'm trying to get him to stop eating so much and try to lose weight.  Both his parents were recently in the hospital, my grandfather is recovering for having a cancer removed from his lungs, he's also diabetic... and my father comes home one night and has 3 fucking cheeseburger with everything on it... and not like wendy's cheeseburgers, but full, homemade cheeseburgers.  and then tonight he wanted me to thank him for saving me a meatball for my dinner, and i was like i'll fucking thank you when you lose 10 pounds.  he's too overweight and he just keeps eating, and as much as my dad annoys me and pisses me off, i don't wanna see him have a heartattack or something worse.  i wouldn't be able to take it, i'm not good with hospitals and people i love being sick, and yea ok i'll be cheesy, i love my dad, cause i really do, yea he's a jerk, but he's still my dad and he'd do almost anything for me and he's always there to help me out when i need him.  but what i need him to do most is to lose some weight and be healthy.  and i know that me arguing with him and trying to hide food from him doesn't help, but i don't know how else to do it. i try to talk serious to him but i just end up yelling.  this so so stupid to write in a xanga, but it really bugs me and people think that i just want to fight with him so i pick on his weight, but i really don't and i really don't want anything to happen to him.  i yell at him all the time that i'm not gunna have a father to give me away when i get married, but that's seriously like my worst fear right now.  when my mom had her open heart surgery last year, i felt what it was like to have a parent really sick and in the hospital and i hated that feeling.  yes i covered it up with birthday cake and lots of liquor, but that's how i dealt with it cause i really couldnt.  as pissed as i am at my dad for his "curfew" bullshit, i'm still more upset about him being overweight.  heather's goldfish died tonight and she was like in tears.. we were talking about having people close to us die, because luckily neither of us have had someone really close to us die, but we know it's gotta happen someday.  anyway her goldfish died and it got her upset so we were talking about how upset she would be when someone she cared about died, and i'm in the same situation, i've never had someone really close to me die, and i don't want the first one to be my father.  2 people have died that i have gotten really upset about that i can remember.  one was brother steven, just because he was such a great man and so caring and seeing all of the other brothers and teachers mourn his death really hit me that we had lost a truly wonderful person.  the other was in the 8th grade when my best friends dad died of a heart attack cause he drank too much liquor and smoked 2 packs a day.  her parents were divorced and she never even talked to her dad.  but when he died, she ended up really upset, and she's never been the same since... started doing drugs, dropped out of school, lost all her friends, moved outta her house, shit like that... but when i thought about someone my age having their father die, it just made me really upset and i remember crying in my grandmother's bedroom and telling my aunt that i didn't want my father to ever die, ever.  ((why is this entry getting so emotional??))  anyway, i just don't like how unhealthy he is, and i didn't like how i was getting really unhealthy so i'm trying to do better with it.  and yea it's hard.  i wanna get greasy cherry valley, and frosties from wendy's and french fries, and Rosa's pizza, and eat bowls of pasta and have yodels and pudding and all the good food that's bad for you lol.  but in the end i'll be so much better and so much happier with both my appearrance, and with my health.

whatever so i wanted to put some quotes up... one's from Batman Begins and the other's are from Kelly Clarkson songs... i'm getting to be a fan of her stuff, and i think that she's the best American Idol out of all of them (sidenote: i never watch AI)... she was on AI like 4 years ago and she still has tons of hits... every1 else you hear from every once in a while and their shit's okay, but i really like her stuff... anyway, here ya go:

Deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you - Rachel, Batman Begins

My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with - Kelly Clarkson "Because of You"

So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
-Kelly Clarkson - "You Found Me" (i think i've heard this line somewhere else too... not sure)

ahh and one from Reina, her song "Forgive" a great song

When through the fallin' tears you said,
'Well can't you ever just
Forgive'
That's a mighty big word
For such a small man
And I'm not sure I can
I don't even know now who I am
It's too soon for me to say
Forgive

i don't feel like finding the rest lol

it's like 3:30 and i just got all emotional and i don't really know why.  thank you all (like 3 people) for reading and listening, if you even read the whole think cause this is probably killer long, i just needed to vent and as always, Xanga's always there when you need to vent.  anyway, i'm out i got work in like 6 hours and a long week ahead of me... peace out.. till next time, who knows when

ok so the long awaited entry is finally here... i don't really know what i wanna write about in it.  a lot has been going on.  i've been home for almost 2 weeks now... got my grades and they suck but whatever.  i don't miss the work, but i do miss my friends.  i miss my neighbors and my girls of next year's suite and the fourth floor whores and especially my roommates.  i constantly find myself wishing someone was here to give me advice on what to do, and what to where, someone to borrow stuff from and entertain me when i'm bored and make me laugh all day.  TV night are especially hard.  it's not as much fun to scream at the TV by myself.  i'll hear a song at the gym or see a commercial or something and think of them.  but it is great being home, usually anyway.  obviously it's rough cause i have parents now, and chores, and they make me do stuff, and even tried to impose a curfew on me.  haha that didn't work. 

I've been partying it up lately.. playing pool, hanging out, playing beer pong and asshole... my bestest roommate came in on Friday night and we went to the Yankee-Met game at that purple stadium.  we sat with a bunch of yankee fans. o by the way, the yanks won.  and yea we lost on saturday, but we won sunday so we took the series.  and the yankees rule all.  and tim supports the losing New York team. and i support the team that rocks.
So me liz and anna hung out with zanoni, neggie and some of the guys that night.  it was hilarious and good to see the guys.  the next night me and anna hung out withh tim, matt, and ryan.  we played pool and then asshole in my basement which was really funny.  and then last night i get a phone call from a drunken friend, so i went sneakin outta my house to entertain this friend.  haha it was great tho.  and today i had jury duty, which sucks.. i wish doing civil duties was more fun, but it's too much waiting and boring stuff. i actually did some reading... and not for school but for fun.  it was bad lol.  and the worst part is that i have to go back 2moro, and every day until they tell me i'm done.  puh.

so anyway, everything is going well except the whole guy situation.  or, well, lack of a guy situation.  it's totally sucked lately.  and it seems like my taken friends, you know the ones that are so totally in love and have been with their boyfriends for like 3 years, guys flock to them.  and i just stand alone.  it's very frustrating.  i dunno people say that when u r unavailable, u send out this energy that makes guys want you more.  so i need a guy to get guys, but i can't get a guy, so i'm screwed, right?  puh.  people say just to wait, the right guy is out there somewhere... but i am sick of waiting... and i don't even need mr. right.... just a regular guy to have fun with and take away some of the loneliness.

i dunno... maybe i'll just dress more slutty or something... there's some parties thursday and friday i might go too... and then this weekend i'll be camping with my bestest friend and our families.  :)  in the rain  :(   it'll be fun.. i'm bringing my hover disc lol...  anyway i need some sleep, this damn cold plus jury duty tomorrow will prob kill me.. nitey nite

Ok so i'm definitely due for an update.  It's been awesome.  I've been home about a week and a half and it has never been better.  never mind i'll finish the update tomorrow.

lol later

i feel a very long entry coming up....

so last weekend i was soo tired, even though me and tim promised to stay sober, which we did.  i still had fun.  liz and rosemary went home for the weekend so it was me and my jenny lol.. i don't even remember what we did.. i remember sleeping friday afternoon for like 2 hours, and then showering and doing my hair and just vegging out... o yea i think the girls came over and we watched a movie... i don't really remember which one... o well... and then saturday jen's bf came and my mommy came to visit... she came up so that we could go see the storage place we are renting for the summer, but we didn't go cause it wasn't neccessary and we went shopping instead.. i bought another skirt, a tank top, and a twister beach towel, and she bought some stuff too.  we spent like an hour in wendy's eating cause we were talking a lot, and we went to dinner at Seabreeze and i had lobster bisque and it was sooo yummy.  then she went home, and i came back to ledges, and jen and dohnn were here and they got my favorite movie: Dodgeball! And i was so tired, so i climbed into my bed to watch it while they were on the futon.  We all fell asleep, that's how tired i was, i fell asleep during my favorite movie.  O well. 

I don't remember what else happened, but i do remember me and jen having a lot of fun together, and Emily visited too..  We played volleyball in the room and the hall... we watched a movie.. then nikki came over to meet everyone cause she's gonna live with us next year... awesome!! and we did our normal Sunday night TV... Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy.  Then came the week of school.. it was a rough week, mostly cause i had tons of meetings and errands and stuff like that.   two killers test on friday, i don't wanna talk about, except to say, it was a masacre, my brains were smeared all over those exams.  figures.  whatev.

anyway, after that came MAY WEEKEND!! which was fucking awesome.  inflatables and keychains, food, mousepads, pillowcases, spinart frisbees, antique photos, and trucker hats!!!  all for free!! o and did i mention the fact that you could walk around trashed drinking alcohol and nobody stopped you.  I made a keychain with my picture for my parents.  I made a pillowcase with a few of the girls from next year, me nikki alix and karoll made a keychain, i took an antique photo with karoll, and one with some of the girls from next year... and my trucker hat, it's fab.  i asked them to put yankees on it, cause i don't have a nickname, and they did the whole thing with the baseball bat as part of the K and the red white and blue hat on it... it looks awesome!  friday i made tons of pina coladas, wore a skirt and a hawaiin shirt with sandals and my sunglasses and we took pictures and had a photo shoot lol.  i drank a lot, but i was immune to alcohol and didn't get drunk, not even buzzed, it was quite dissappointing.  and i was so tired, i came home pretty early and went to bed at like 2.  saturday was if you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain day cause it rained and i again had pina colada's all day... in the afternoon i had a slight buzz after going to the festival, and walked back singing "i have anodder piner colader, i have annodder piner colader" because i had more in my room and i was excited to drink them lol. i wanted to guarantee i'd get drunk on saturday night, so i had 4 pina coladas, 5 jello shots, a shot of yeger, 5 shots of rum, a cup of tequila rose, the beer and mudslides from playing pong with lizzy and a shitload of malibu.  there was a wall and someone wrote on it "drunk" with an arrow pointing to a space on the floor, so i sat in the space and took a picture with my trucker hat.  after being drunk and doing lots of stupid stuff, i decided to drunk dial tons of people including: tim, mike, katie, liz (twice, once when she was sitting next to me), lauren, bestest friend, faccia, dee, forest, anna, nikki, kristen, heather... my message to tim was funnier than ever, my messages to liz were hilarious, i asked bestest friend if she was sleeping in my bed (cause she was staying at my house), i asked forest if we could go to the city for mexican or thai, and then i asked him to deliver thai food to me, and kristen actually called me back and said she was drinking too (bad bad navy girl lol).  some other funny things that happened: playing asshole with next year's roomies; i realized "nook" is a funny word, a security guard told me to watch out for the speed bumps as i drunkenly ran down dorm road.  aaaand liz closed my hand skin in her cell phone.  o yea and i got hit by a paintball walking down dorm road, so we called security and Bob and a hamden po-po came to the room we were playing beer pong in and didn't say anything except asked what happened.  then i hung out and was very entertaining in the lounge with liz, brian and rosemary.  then at like 5 AM i watched Friends and fell asleep. 

sunday i slept till like 3, then cleaned the mess in this room alll afternoon, then back to Sunday night TV: Extreme Makeover, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, and Friends.  then went to bed.  and of course monday started off my week in a not so good way.. that's fine.  whatever.  9 days and i'm home. 

but it's weekends like these that i know i will miss in 9 days... i'll miss this place, these girls, those speed bumps... i hate when the weekends end and the work begins, and the more weeks that go by, the closer we get to what i think we should call... "Last Call for alcohol, or well, you know, liQUor."

so i wanna list all the things i'm gonna miss:
TV tuesdays, Sunday Television, and the OC with the girls
Roommate Dinners
Food made for me and not having to use cash to pay
Lots of Drinking and not having to drive
free, network shared music
free gym
random dancing in my room
endless laughter coming from 416
sitting around at work doing nothing, getting paid for it
intramurals
having a bathroom clean for me every day, almost never having to wait for a stall or shower
sleeping in a room with 3 of my best friends
and lots lots more

but then there's the things that i have missed that i want to do so bad:

i want to eat Rosa's pizza, Cherry Valley, and aunt may's fong kwan
i wanna sit on my deck and watch the teenage guidos drive around the park
i wanna have a Friends marathon with Heather
i wanna go to Six Flags (and maybe get tattoos with Lauren and Katie)
i wanna drive my car (YES! DRIVE MY CAR!) through Wendy's at 2AM...backwards
i wanna drink in the park
i wanna spend weekends in Rockaway on the beach all day and drinking all night
I wanna go to La Cue and play pool for free
i wanna go to Molloy and see my "old home"
i wanna hang out with Faccia face and my mom
i wanna go out with the girls, and go rockin bowling, and eat cold stone, and have a sleepover

and so much more

o well for now it's time to go to economics... till next time...

9 Days!!